55 years

Met a person today who reminded me of someone i wish i had met. Became Canadian, born in Berlin. His wife had passed away two years ago. They had been married for fifty five years. Not once, he stated, not once in those fifty five years did they ever have one negative word between them, nor did they ever experience a single fight. In fifty five years.

i asked him, what was your's, and your wife's, secret towards such a peaceful relationship? His response: if they disagreed regarding anything, they would postpone the disagreement until that day's evening when they would sit down peacefully, each with a glass of wine (he told me a glass of milk would work just as well in my case), and each would present her/his side of the issue. Eventually, one would be persuaded of the other's point of view. Hence, they mutually avoided quarrelling. He had tears in his eyes as he remembered his wife.

Surely, it must be one of God's greatest blessings if one is so privileged to have someone love them for fifty five years and, forever, be so fondly remembered.

And among His signs is this, that He has created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell in tranquillity with them; and He has put love and mercy between you. Verily in that are signs for those who reflect {xxx.21}

What happens can't be stopped. Aim for grace.
~ Ann Beattie

furtive glances

A reflective piece on the BBC's website this morning, one that i believe delves into an aspect of humanity's nature.

The piece discusses London commuters' range of emotions - fear, wariness, distrust, paranoia and guilt - vis-a-vis their fellow commuters, as well as how Tube and bus passengers are dealing with each other and themselves in the days subsequent to the multiple explosions.

Those of 'Asian appearance' (how would one define that?) feel furtive glances from others; some express their feelings when the seat next to them is the only one left unoccupied. Others articulate their guilt for harbouring stereotypical sentiments, while a few discuss how these emotions play right into the desires of the 'terrorists'.

i don't reside in a city that has, as of yet, experienced bombings. The day following the 7 July bombings, i went to a store wearing - what i usually wear when it's hot these days - jeans and a white kameez that reaches to my knees. It's an extremely 'ethnic' dress look. i am not certain if it was my paranoia. i felt distinctly uncomfortable. i deliberately tried not to make eye-contact with anyone; the few times i looked up i thought i saw others staring at me. If there were to be attacks in this country as well, i wonder at how people here would react vis-a-vis each other.

It's an extremely uncomfortable feeling, to walk around with the perception (accurate or not) that others are regarding you as an outsider. In the BBC piece, there was a comment by an individual from the U.S.:

"Now the general public has been introduced to the plight of the black man. I am a chemistry PhD student, a research and teaching assistant but that does not seem to be enough to make others feel comfortable. I too make my own declarations: doing work on my computer, grading papers or reading some chemical journal with a molecule in full view, but I still see some women clutch their purses a little more tightly or some men making sure their wallets are still there as I pass. To survive, you have to train yourself to just let it go. Perhaps when the fear subsides and the london public returns to a fair sense of normalcy, we will learn the more appropriate of the two lesson here: Dont judge."

'seeing' Menezes

Eyewitnesses' excerpts from the BBC:

i) "I saw an Asian guy.

"[...] As [he] got onto the train I looked at his face, he looked sort of left and right, but he basically looked like a cornered rabbit, a cornered fox. He looked absolutely petrified."

ii) "He had a baseball cap on and quite a sort of thickish coat - it was a coat you'd wear in winter, sort of like a padded jacket. He might have had something concealed under there...."

iii)"...I saw this guy who appeared to have a bomb belt and wires coming out..."

Jean Charles de Menezes

Sir Ian Blair, Metropolitan police commissioner, 22 July 2005: "The information I have available is that this shooting is directly linked to the ongoing and expanding anti-terrorist operation."

Sir Ian Blair, Metropolitan police commissioner, 24 July 2005: "This is a tragedy. The Metropolitan Police accepts full responsibility for this. To the family I can only express my deep regrets."

Patriot Act

While images of London's multiple bombings were being broadcasted into screens all across the Capitol, the United States House of Representatives agreed to renew the Patriot Act.

Say whatever one will regarding Dubya, the guy sometimes has undisputably the best timing to get things done.

fair & lovely

One of my sisters returned from the UAE and, amongst the items that she purchased over there, one particular product was "Fair & Lovely" cream. For those unfamiliar with this Asian (?) product, the following descriptive blurb may shed some light:

"The new cream not only gives you noticeably fairer and more radiant skin, its new 4 step holistic fairness process also helps to keep your skin free of blemishes and oiliness whilst protecting it from harmful UV sunrays."

One of the commercials for this product, at least the one aired in the UAE, depicts two females walking towards a hotel. A man approaches them with the intention of greeting them; he wholly ignores the darker-complexioned lady and walks towards the lighter-complexioned lady, who is all smiles as he approaches. Both of them walk inside the hotel. Both, manifestly, are - according to society's perceptions - pleasing to the eye. Other commercials send the message that, if one wants to 'get ahead' in society (in terms of careers), one must be lighter-skinned.

i may be taking this too far. However, the cream - in my opinion - is symbolic of how warped our societies are becoming vis-a-vis our perceptions of skin colour. Despite all the technological advancements we have made, despite the fact that we are able to construct space stations, we still have not genuinely progressed if we - collectively and individually - believe that lighter-skin is superior to darker skin. My sister has had to grow up with this throughout her childhood; by relatives and friends she was regularly informed that she was the darkest out of the children in this family. Today she is manifestly no longer a child; she is an articulate, mature young lady. Yet the repercussions of those childhood memories certainly are alive and kicking as evidenced by her independent decision to purchase and use a skin-lightening cream. This may be a minor issue in the eyes of some, but in some cultures (including the one i was raised up in), skin complexion is an issue upon which arranged marriages are either formed, or broken.

There can be nothing more beautiful than what God has bestowed upon each of us. There can be nothing sadder than personal conceptions endeavoring not to accept that.