commodifications

i am confused as to why some desis refuse to believe, truly believe with their hearts, that marriages are something decided by God. Allah determines who marries whom. It's not upto Aunty falaan falaan. No Aunty, regardless of how well-connected she may be and how many eligible belles/beaux she is connected to, cannot make a rishta happen if it's not something Willed by Allah. Period. End of discussion. Nooooo. Not for some desis. (Emphasis on 'some'). i don't know what the marriage-contract has been morphed into. It doesn't seem as though what i am seeing around me, is what Islam stipulates. The guy is a commodity valued according to the profession he belongs to and the corresponding income. His status is a commodity. The female's skin colour is a commodity. Her virginity is, obviously, a commodity. She had better never been divorced. Brush under the carpet the fact that the majority of the wives of Prophet Muhammad (may God's peace and blessings be upon him) were either divorced or widowed. Nooooo. Forget the fact that Islam recommended we should look for piety in our spouses... Noooo. 'Are they sayyids', their status, their skin colour, her sughaarpana, the dowry she'll bring in, the greencard/ western passport she brings. Ugh i am so sick and tired of this crap sometimes. How can i be proud about ALL aspects of my culture/heritage when there are some aspects that are so blatantly abused. Islam makes it so simple. We make it so damn difficult.